Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Coffee Works For Some People, Others Require Something A Little Stronger

On domestic situation calls there are some standard questions that are always asked. One is has anyone been drinking.

At 6am a guy calls in a domestic and when asked if anyone has been drinking he responds, “well I just cracked open a beer – I did just wake up.”

Monday, March 27, 2006

Death By Oscillation

Caller: "My husband is trying to kill me"

Dispatcher: "Does he have any weapons?"

Caller: "He has a fan"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Cab-tive vs. Captive

One too many = calling 911 and saying you are being held captive in a red SUV when really you are so drunk that your friends sent you home in a cab and somehow you confused the cab driver with a kidnapper.


Friday, March 17, 2006

There Are Worse Smells

A lady calls because there is a strong smell of cough syrup in her house that comes and goes every couple of minutes.

When officers get there the lady goes on to explain that she believes her neighbors are running a meth lab out of their house.

I wonder if this caller was benefiting from the neighbor's product?

Monday, March 13, 2006

Move Closer to the Equator to Avoid This Problem

In the midst of a snowstorm a man calls to say that the roads are all white and it is hard to see the lines.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bad Kitty

A female calls and says she was shot in her sleep. When the police get there they cancel the ambulance. Why you may ask? Well it seems she was not shot, but instead scratched by her cat.

If this lady ever is really shot, she is in for a rude awakening in the pain department.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Common Courtesy

Unless you are involved in a situation so horrific it causes you to lose complete bladder control, I do not find it acceptable to call 911 while you are urinating.

***caller was reporting something setting off his motion light

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Son Of The Year

A guy calls from California. He says he hired a private investigator to find his dad who he hasn’t talked to in almost 30 years. The PI found an address for the dad and the son would like the police to go over there and ask dad to call him because writing a letter will take him too long.