Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Hang In There

I am no expert when it comes to relationships, but I'm pretty sure that hanging yourself from a tree in your ex-boyfriend's front lawn is not the best way to show him you are the best possible woman for him and he should take you back immediately.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Do Your Research

When deciding to become a car-jacker, may I recommend taking the time to familiarize yourself with different types of vehicles and where/how the components of these vehicles work.

Example: Car-jacking goes awry when the car-jacker forces the driver out at gunpoint only to realize that the vehicle is a stick shift. Not wanting to give up, he attempts to drive the vehicle but fails miserably and flees on foot.

Sunday, May 21, 2006


When it comes to medical terminology sometimes as dispatchers we just have to wing it. While I am familiar with multiple medical issues, when someone calls in with something complicated, basically I summarize, abbreviate, or work it out phonetically. Well a coworker of mine took this liberty quite generously. A woman called in complaining of severe diarrhea. My coworker, not knowing how to spell this correctly, decided to write this in the call:

"Has the trots real bad"

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Cut The Cord

A grown man calls complaining that his mother is kicking him out of the house. She threw his crockpot at him and is threatening to sell his "TV and stuff."

Saturday, May 13, 2006

And The Answer Is . . . . .

A port-a-potty :) I guess that is what they are called in this neck of the woods. I would hate to be looking in the yellow pages for dish network and end up with a toilet mounted on my roof!

Friday, May 12, 2006

Do You Know What This Means??

I take a call from a man stating he is an off-duty firefighter and the satellite in the park across the street is on fire. Not wanting to sound like an idiot, I took the info and hung up having no idea what he meant by satellite. My first thought was a large satellite dish - I was wrong.

Can anyone guess what was on fire?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Always Be Prepared

A man uses a ladder to climb up to a 3rd floor balcony of an apartment building and proceeds to break in. The resident, hearing this calls 911 and grabs his gun. While on the phone with my partner the resident confronts the robber, gun in hand. In the background the robber can be heard yelling “don’t shoot, don’t shoot” then jumps off the balcony.