Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

In the words of Neil Sedaka, "breaking up is hard to do." Unfortunately I think recovering from severe burns is even harder.

When pouring gas all over your ex's lawn, please remember to step off of the lawn and place the gas can far away before lighting the match and throwing it on the gas-saturated grass. Or, if you are like the caller we had, light the match and throw it on the lawn while still standing on said lawn holding said gas can.